Somewhere in our spare bedroom is a list that I made about 7 years ago. It was one of those "things to do before I die" type lists. Some things I have realized might not come to fruition (when would I have time to through-hike the Pacific Crest Trail?) but on Sunday I'll hopefully be able to check off one thing I've been wanting to do for several years: Do a half ironman!
One thing I will have to work on during the race is my pacing. I found an article about how to be successful in an Ironman, and the authors state that "race day is about execution, not fitness". I can see where they are coming from. Fitness-wise, I am ready to tear through the bike section! But that's not what it's about. Knowing that running is my weakest discipline, I need to save a lot of energy through the bike. I think I should never feel like I am going really hard on the bike. Which is kind of a relief but kind of sucks. :)
The other skill I will have to execute is my mental attitude. The same article says: "As your race day continues, you will eventually hit the Line. It's at this point that your body begins to debate, very loudly, with the mind. Unless you have a very clearly defined goal or compelling reason why you must continue, your body wins and your day will start...to get...very...long."
Do I have a compelling enough reason to keep going? I think having Chris and other friends' support will spur me on. Not that he would think any less of me if I don't finish, but he seems to believe in me and supports me in this crazy ordeal. If you need proof we can start with him getting up at 3:30 AM with me Sunday morning! The other big thing is all the support for Faith Alive. I feel like doing a half ironman is such a small thing compared to the daily struggle of living with AIDS in a third world country. Comparing the two feats makes me feel silly and very spoiled. But if I need strength trying to finish the race I will think of the people Chris met and the stories they shared - all of which remind me that the human spirit is way stronger than 70.3 miles!
I don't know what to expect. I know it will be very hard. I will probably get bored and kicked in the head during the swim, want to go faster during the bike, and want to lay down and cry at some point during the run. So why am I doing this?? Good question.
One strange thing that draws me towards these endurance type events is the whole idea of pushing yourself harder or farther than you thought possible. In those moments of feeling worst, you seem to learn all sorts of things about yourself. And the feeling at the other side is incomparable. Maybe I will have more reasons for why I am doing this a few days afterward (when I can walk again). :)
I will leave with a quote from another article from Bicycling magazine that I've been meaning to share. It is the best way I've found to explain why I like doing hard things. The author is referring to the sign at the top of the Col de Galibier, a famously brutal climb in the Alps.
"I remember that damned sign as if I still stand beneath it, damned now by myself because I want to ride my way back to it again and again. We all do. We seek the sign at the top of the Galibier, at the end of our driveways, at the beginning of the weekend ride. We try to reach it when we've had a bad day at the office, when we have a fight at home, when the traffic sucks and the ATM is down - and when illness or disease or bad luck or the plain act of being alive brings us the kind of suffering that can't be stopped simply by unclipping from a pedal. To be strong we have to truly understand once how weak we are."
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